Courage Is Silent: The quiet strength of people with chronic illness

Having courage is an integral part of living a life with chronic illness, yet it’s often overlooked by healthy people.

 

Inspiration porn hides and misshapes the courage of people with chronic illness

Inspiration porn is so ingrained in our society most people don’t even realize it. It’s something that people with disabilities and illnesses must face on a regular basis. My own friends and family regularly post inspiration porn on Facebook with pictures of a disabled person who has overcome their disability to achieve some remarkable feat. The pictures always have a caption such as “what’s your excuse?” or “the only disability in life is a bad attitude” or “faith can help you achieve anything.”

I am tired of hearing about disabled people who have “overcome” their disability through sheer determination and grit. I am tired of being invisible because I haven’t overcome my illness. I’m tired of the able-bodied only fixating on people who have fought their disability and won. That’s not real life; real life is uglier than that. More often than not disability doesn’t involve miraculous healing, and it’s rarely overcome by determination. Those people are the exception. Real-life with a disability involves a lot of loneliness, pain, discrimination, and loss. So I don’t want to hear your inspiring quotes like “the only disability in life is a bad attitude.” That is disingenuous, and it’s insulting to think that a positive attitude can overcome everything. The world would be a different place if that were true.

When I got sick I thought I was going to beat it. I thought I was going to deal with my illness as aggressively as I could and I was going to go back to my normal life. Unfortunately, my body had another plan and that does not make me a failure. It does not mean I am weak and I’ve stopped fighting. Because I am disabled does that mean that I am not strong? Does that mean I don’t know how to persevere? I do those things every single day, but there is no applause for me.

• I am strong every time I get out of bed and go throughout my day pretending I am normal.
• I am strong every time I smile even though I want to cry.
• I am strong every time another doctor tells me that there is nothing they can do for me.
• I am strong every time someone tells me my illness is not real
• I am strong every time someone tells me that I talk about my illness too much
• I am strong every time someone tells me how inconvenient my illness is for them
• I am strong every time someone questions my weight
• I am strong every time I put someone’s needs before mine, even though I feel like my body is falling apart
• I am strong every time someone tells me that I’m selfish because of my pain
• I’m strong every time tells me I must be an addict because I take medication for pain.

Real courage is perseverance

I also persevere through life even though I am always tired and always in pain. I have been in pain every single day for 7 years and I haven’t given in yet, does that not count as perseverance?  I work really hard even though my body really doesn’t want me to, does that not count at hard work?

Most people who live with chronic pain did not choose their life, and yet they live with it day after day, year after year. Is that not more heroic than the person who runs a race, or climbs a mountain, or plays a football game? Click To Tweet

Most people who live with chronic pain did not choose their life, and yet they live with it day after day, year after year. Is that not more heroic than the person who runs a race, or climbs a mountain, or plays a football game?  As Christopher Reeves said, “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” There are a lot of obstacles in running a race or climbing a mountain, but they are self-inflicted. Athletes push themselves to become better athletes, people with disabilities push themselves just to survive in a healthy world. When you have a disability you have to deal with obstacles that you didn’t choose. You can choose how you react to each obstacle, but that is a far as your control can go.

People with disability and chronic illnesses have strengths that no healthy person will ever understand. Yet, their courage goes by unremarked because it's silent and invisible Click To Tweet

Disabled people and those with chronic illnesses have strengths that no healthy person will ever understand. They are strong every time they get out of bed in the morning. They are strong every time a doctor shames them for their illness. They are strong every time they lose a friend that doesn’t want to deal with them anymore. They are strong every time they have to give up a part of their life they cherished in order to preserve their remaining health. Yet, their courage goes by unremarked and their courage is silent.