I’m tired of pain. I’ve been in a funk lately. There’s no particular reason why. Nothing especially bad has happened and nothing drastic has changed in my life, but I’ve been in a mood. I don’t want to do anything, and I just lack the motivation to get going. I’m not staying home and being miserable all the time or anything like that (I have two extremely involved and friendly kids so that’s not really an option), but I probably would if I could. I just find myself wishing staying home and being miserable was actually an option for me because I’m just so tired. Not physically tired (although that’s also a problem), but tired of always hurting, tired of living a different life than everybody else my age, tired of explaining to people what it is that I do with myself, tired of pretending to care about the things other people do that will never be an option for me. I’m fully aware that this isn’t a great mood to stay in. It’s okay to wallow every once in a while, but I’m in a full-on funk and I need to get out of it. So how am I going to do it? Here are a few things I try to remember when I’m in this situation:
When you’re tired of being in pain- Give yourself a break
Being sick is hard and you’re going to have times where it makes you sad and cranky. Living in constant pain has serious side effects that you aren’t always going to be able to control. Acknowledge the feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness because anyone else in your situation is going to go through similar feelings. Sometimes you just get tired of being sick and hurting all the time.
When you’re tired of being in pain- Don’t blame yourself
Sometimes when you’re feeling down about your illness it’s easy to blame yourself. You think you should’ve just tried harder, or if you were just a different type of person you could change things.
When you’re tired of pain- Focus on one day at a time
Sometimes I can get myself into a funk (or I get stuck in one I’m already in) because I’m thinking a lot about my long-term problems. When I start worrying about how in the world I’m going to live like this forever and how I’m going to function the rest of my life, I know I’ve gone to a bad place. It’s not helpful to my health for me to obsess about the long-term implications. I always do better when I focus on how I can manage that day and that day alone.
Let off some steam
The feelings that you have a real. You are not imagining things or exaggerating in any way. Having a chronic illness is hard, and sometimes you’re going to need to let off some steam. Everybody does this differently. Here are some of my favorite coping techniques:
- Rage yoga- There are so many different kinds of these. I have a fairly tame one that I like to do, but there are also somewhere you can yell swear words at the TV!
- Adult coloring books- These are great for relaxing, and you can find whatever type works for you. Whether you just like to color something chilled out or do some adult coloring (affiliate link) coloring is great because it doesn’t require a lot of energy.
- Listen to some music- The type of music changes depending on my mood. Sometimes I need something energetic to get me going, sometimes I need something angry to match my anger, and sometimes I need something calming to bring me down.
Challenge yourself to find something that makes you happy
When you’re in a funk this can be incredibly difficult, because you feel like nothing can make you happy. However, this doesn’t have to be a big thing. Even if you just go outside for a few minutes to enjoy the sun, or read something you find enjoyable. Look for the small things you can do that make you happy.
Remember to do what you can, don’t do what you can’t
This is harder than it sounds and is one of the things that often sends me into a funk of feeling sorry for myself. I hate that I can’t do all the things I want to do, and I hate that I can’t do all the things other people want me to do. If I can just ignore my critics, and accept for myself what my body allows, I’m a lot better off.
All of these things are easier said than done. Coping with chronic illness is hard, and no one is a master at it. Remember to do what you can, and let the rest of it go.
I love your articles! I too have been in an incredibly difficult funk. The pain is exhausting physically, mentally & emotionally. Most recently I was diagnosed with chronic cluster migraines in addition to the spinal cord injury. Talk about brutal ~ as if one migraine isn’t bad enough, sometimes they come in clusters of 2 or 3! I am caught in a viscous cycle of pain, depression and pain…nothing helps. To add to that, BCBSLA is now dictating that they will no longer cover the Belbuca Buccal Film for pain so it’s a fight. I’m just tired ?
IM LOOKING FOR A WAY TO COMBAT CHRONIC PAIN ALSO.. SINCE 1997 I GOT HURT ON THE JOB..IM A FORCED RETIRED USPS MAIL CARRIER.. IM 54YRS OLD. I RETIRED/DISABLED IN DEC 2003..I HAVE A PAIN DR. BUT THE GUY IS AN IDIOT LIKE MOST PAIN DR’S.. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. IM SICK OF BEING LABLED.. I LIVE ON OPIODS..BUT MY BODY IS USED TO WHAT I TAKE..I HAVE NEURPATHY ALSO IN MY LEGGS..I PICKED UP A BOX AT WORK THE WRONG WAY. NOW AFTER 3 OPERATIONS, AND A SPINAL CORD STIMULATOR IN MY BACK WHICH DOES NOTHING ANYMORE..ITT COST ALOT OF MONEY TKS GOD I HAVE INSURANCE. BUT THE FRIGGIN DEA IS A PAIN IN THE AZZ! IM NOT HAPPY I DID THIS ON ACCIDENT TO MYSELF. MY LIFE IS OVER.. IM DEPRESSED.. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO ANYMORE. I LIVE IN SOUTH FL..I HAVE ALOT TO SAY..I GET EXHAUSTED TALKING ABOUT THIS. IC MY PAIN DR EVERY MNTH SPEND FRIGGIN 90.00 TO C HIM AND PAY FOR MY MEDS.. IM ON SSD..I WAS LOOKING AROUND ON THE INTERNET TO VOICE MY VOICE.. IM TIRED OF BEEING LOOKED AT LIKE I HAVE 3 HEADS.. I HAVE ONLY 1PHARMACY I USE. I DO NOT DR SHOP.. ITS SOO HARD TO FIND A DR THAT WRITES SCRIPS AND IS NOT SCARED OF THE DAMN DEA. THIS IS MY LIFE!! IVE HAD A COUPLE PAIN DRS SINCE I HURT MYSELF. THE BEST DRUG I FOUND THAT I CANT HAVE ANYMORE IS OPANA 40MG ER.. BUT I TAKE MORPHINE60MG AND DILLAUDID 8MGS AND SOMA 350MG..IM USED TO THIS..ITS NOTHING ANYMORE.. MY BODY HURTS 24/7.. ITS DEPRESSING! MY LIFE HAS SOO CHANGED.. NO ONE REALY UNDERSTANDS NO ONE LIVES MY LIFE OR WALKS MY SHOES. I ALSO GET MIGRANES (TKS TO MY MOM) WHEN I HIT 39 YRS OLD.. WELL IF ANYONE WANTS TO REPLY PLS DO..SXYMAILMN@AOL.COM.. I CUD USE SUM FRIENDS.. I LIVE ALONE.. IM SINGLE.. I LIVE IN FT LAUDERDALE FL.. IM JUST SICK OF LIVING IN PAIN.. I USED TO LOVE MY CAREER/JOB AND MY LIFE USED TO B OK B4 I GOT HURT IN 1997. I REALLY FCKED UP!! I NEVER KNEW SHIT ABOUT OPIODS UNTIL I GOT HURT.. I HAD NO NEED.. I HATE BEING JUDGED!! NO ONE HAS MY BODY. I GAINED WEIGHT EMBARRASING..AND ITS HARD TO WALK..SO MUCH HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE.. JUST NOT HAPPY.. IM SURE THERES LOTS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE LIKE ME OR WORSE.. IM SORRY!
Hi Darren, my name is Michelle.
I live with chronic pain for the last twelve years. I’m not on opiods.
I am a combat veteran and served in Operation Desert Shield/Storm. I am dealing with several health conditions from serving.
I have arthritis from my toes to my jaw down through my back. A genetic condition from my mom’s side of the family. I’ve been living with it for twelve years now. I have been denied soc sec so many times. I haven’t been able to work for 7 years.
Fortunately, the VA kicked in and I do receive a disability check from the VA.
I have a spinal cord injury I sustained when I was 19 years old and stationed in Germany. My L1 Vertebrae is fractured. I didn’t know I had the injury for 34 years. I could’ve been paralyzed at 19 years of age.
Since then, I have married, birthed two children, and served in combat. I worked until my doctor told me I could no longer work.
The chronic pain in my back is disabling….and the pain is overwhelming. When I was first diagnosed with arthritis, I couldn’t even walk or move. The pain was brutal.
My beautiful daughter does much of what I can no longer do. She is my rock and my focus and my strength. I also have my faith in God.
I have learned to take one day at a time. Just one minute at a time. It’s hard to focus on the long term of dealing with chronic pain. I’m 57. If/when I think about dealing with the pain for the next 10,, 20, or 30 years it becomes overwhelming.
Have you tried aqua therapy for your ? It works wonders. Best wishes to you. Remember focus on one minute at a time. You got this.
You have touched many lives through your career as a postman. I’m sure there are other ways that you can be of service in your community.
I crochet, and am currently making hats for the homeless shelter this year.
Find something you love to do and pour your heart into it. That will help you through your pain.
Blessings to you as you cope and find joy again.
I love this. I have one child with chronic pain and one with chronic fatigue. These tips apply to all of us 🙂
I definitely relate! My frustration comes out in my blogging too, I just completely lack motivation and can’t be bothered 🙁 Thank you so much for the timely reminder – love Yoga with Adriene! I might look at some of the ‘more intense’ rage yoga too 🙂
I love you Chronic Mom. I was in a horrible funk yesterday. I’m 72yo and I have cervical dystonia, parkinsonism, essential tremor, fibromyalgia, CFS, compressed nerves and bulging discs in my back, along with other problems. You are so on target! Some days I survive, other days I am so tired of the pain and fatigue that I just can’t take it anymore. You are correct, focusing on being grateful for what you have and what you can do pulls you out of the pit. Hard to do but so worth it when you do it. Thank you for the reminder!
I am in a major funk tonight and just sick of hurting non-stop 24/7. There is no cure for chronic lyme, atleast in my case. I have tried it all. Just really tired. This hurting never ever ends.
A friend of mine cured it herself it certainly took time but she did it.
She also explained to the doctor how she cured herself. Ask the doctor because this information is out there
I too am always in pain this helps a little to know I’m not the only one . I Drowned and was clinically dead for 45 min. I had to learn to walk and talk again . Well now I have to many Health Problems . Everyday I am Sick and in Pain . That alone is so hard for me being a woman of 63 and having very low income , no money in the bank or anywhere else . Living from payday to payday , having to go w/o a lot of things I need . The pain has ran off all my family and friends , so I’m all alone . No one to talk too or to help me . It is hard for me to make myself go outside , I only do when I need something at the store . No one understands what I am having to go through , everyday . I get so sad knowing I’m only going to get worse and I’m all alone . I wish I could be like everyone else . I have forgotten what happened feels like . And I can not understand why no one will help me with cash help , I have been looking for over 20 years now , with out finding any help from anyone or place . Life is just to hard for me and the world is a very bad place . Thank you for reading and take care
This article has brought tears to my eyes… I’ve been dealing with chronic kidney pain for over 20 years now (52 yrs old), this is due to my poor kidneys being severely scarred from several surgeries and a lifetime of infections & structural damage. Currently I’m in the “grey area” of treatment options as my kidneys aren’t bad enough yet to begin dialysis, but they leave me in constant pain w/recurring infections etc…that I cannot ignore. I have been on opioid meds for quite awhile and, while these meds do help me with the pain, it’s tough to know that the meds aren’t great for my kidneys. I have miraculously been able to have 3 amazing daughters (now grown) and my husband is incredible through everything – it’s so very difficult to know that this is only going to get worse before it hopefully gets better. There are SO many days that this chronic pain gets the better of me and I hate it. My faith in God helps me very much. It really helps to have people who relate to what I’m going through – and I’m always so glad to be able to support others on this journey. Thank you thank you so much for sharing this article ChronicMom!! Much love, prayers, and positive vibes being sent your way. 😁💕
I’ve had fibromyalgia chronic fatigue syndrome rheumatoid arthritis for 36 years. I know what you’re going through I had a job I love very much and had after 8 years I filed for a disability it took 3 years but I won. My whole body has been in pain and it has been total misery and I do get treated like I’m a criminal or something because I need the medicine I need to survive. It just cuts the pain in half but that’s better than no help at all. I’ve been diagnosed with all these symptoms and then the last few years they’ve added osteoarthritis and I’ve had no immune system for 36 years also. I would really like to get some help I’m in the same boat you are with the same feelings and they’re very hard to get over and live with but you do. In Australia a university there are working on a blood test on your immune cells and their color coded to detect the level of pain. This will be so good for people who can’t talk babies even animals they say they can do this too and that way we won’t feel like everyone’s treating us like we’re making this all up we have proof will have a diagnosis but it will still take years for them to trial and error it and do whatever they have to do after that so I’m keeping my eye on it. So you’re not alone and I know there’s a lot more than just you and me out there like a hundred million probably so let’s just say a prayer for all of us and get by the best way we can. Love you all.
Mam, I appreciate all you have said, it sums up what many of us with chronic pain, back and neck pain for me. The only thing I have to do, as its in my nature is to do what I cant do. And yes this brings on the thoughts of why cant I do that anymore. But The concentrate on doing something just to try it is a great idea. Thanks.
I must be in a funk, I’m just not sure. I’ve only been dealing with this for seven years and I know there are thousands of people who have been living with chronic pain much longer. I think I’m just done. I know my family loves me, I adore all of my children and grandchildren, I have an amazing husband, and they’re so supportive! The thing is … I’m only fifty-nine and the idea that I could spend the next 25 years in this pain makes me want to … step in front of a train.