How to find the right doctor to treat your chronic illness

Finding a doctor willing to treat a chronic illness can be a long and difficult process. Finding a doctor who will believe you and take you seriously is easier said than done, and it’s even harder to find a doctor willing to treat an illness with no cure.

In my personal experience, it took me two years and seven doctors to even get a diagnosis. I started having strange symptoms shortly after the birth of my son. I developed a rash, I was tired all the time, my neck felt stiff, my body ached all over, and I started having trouble remembering things. Unfortunately, it was easy for doctors to dismiss my symptoms as something that comes with a new baby. Even as my baby grew older I was continually told that I was just tired. I tried to explain the difference between tiredness from sleep deprivation and being fatigued no matter how much sleep I got, but no one would listen. By the time I made it to the seventh doctor I was more than a little discouraged.

The seventh doctor I saw was an Internist recommended to me by a friend who found the doctor to be a good listener. When the doctor walked in and said she knew something was wrong with me, I was in tears; finally, someone saw me. I will always be grateful for that doctor who was simply willing to listen. It isn’t easy to find a doctor that is right for you, but here are six qualities to look for.

1. They are willing to say “I don’t know”

Most chronic illnesses are complicated to diagnose and troublesome to treat. They present differently in each person and it’s difficult to tell whether symptoms are attributed to the chronic illness or something else. Oftentimes when physicians are presented with complicated diseases, it’s easy for them to believe the problem is in the patient’s head. You need a doctor who is willing to admit they don’t know everything and can say “I don’t know, but let me refer you to someone who might.”

2. They keep up with the research

Medical science is changing all the time. New studies come out every day which change the landscape of medicine. Diseases that no one ever took seriously like CFS and Fibromyalgia are finally getting more support from medical studies. You need a doctor that is aware of these research developments in order to get an accurate diagnosis and get the best care possible. Even if your doctor hasn’t had a chance to study the most recent research you’ve found, they should be willing to look into it if you bring it to their attention. Don’t accept a doctor who runs in, talks to you (or over you) for three minutes, and then runs out without giving you a chance to have a discussion about the most recent research.

 

3. They are non-judgmental

You should be comfortable telling the truth about your health to your doctor without being judged for it. Your doctor needs to know your entire medical history, so you need to be comfortable with him or her. You shouldn’t be afraid of being accused of being depressed or lazy because of your symptoms or behaviors. Additionally, a common concern for women is that their doctor will discount their symptoms because of their weight. Your doctor should be able to discuss weight and how it’s affecting your health without shaming. If your doctor regularly shames you for your weight and doesn’t offer helpful suggestions on how to deal with it, find a new one.

4. Willing to discuss treatment for pain

Pain is a huge part of the lives of many people who have a chronic illness, and yet many doctors are not willing to even discuss it. Doctors do have legitimate reasons to be afraid of prescribing opioids (because of the DEA shutting down doctors they’ve decided prescribe too much). They do no have legitimate reasons to ignore pain and shame their patients for not being tough enough or not having a better attitude about being in constant physical misery.  Your doctor should not dismiss your pain. They need to be willing to experiment with possible solutions or be willing to refer you to a pain specialist that could better fit that role.

5. Ease of communication

Ease of communication is one of the most important requirements for a doctor. How hard is it to get an appointment? Does it take days of back and forth calls and being put on hold before you can get anywhere? If you have a problem, can you easily communicate with the nurse or do they ignore your phone calls? Unfortunately, my experience in this area has not been positive. I have a great doctor who is impossible to get a hold of because of her unhelpful staff. I have found myself looking for a new doctor just because it’s so difficult to get any assistance.

Ideally, your doctor needs to have a responsive office staff that facilitates communication. Some offices even allow for special accommodations for chronic illness patients, like communicating by text.

6. They aren’t threatened by patient knowledge

Because doctors generally focus on multiple conditions it isn’t unusual for a patient to know more about their own disease. Doctors need to stop feeling threatened by patient knowledge. Click To Tweet

Because doctors generally focus on multiple conditions it isn’t unusual for a patient to know more about their disease than their doctor. Unfortunately, some doctors find educated patients threatening and consider them to be “difficult.” You need to find a doctor who is willing to keep up a continuing dialogue about treatment. You should feel comfortable bringing up new research and asking questions about how it can affect you.

Every person who lives with a chronic condition deserves to be given respect, especially by their doctor. Click To Tweet

Finding all these characteristics in a doctor might be difficult and will take some time. The best advice I was given by a doctor was to keep fighting for my right to quality treatment. Every person who lives with a chronic condition deserves to be given respect. Don’t give up until you find a doctor that is willing to work with you to make decisions about your health.