I am Fibromyalgia: What it’s like when Fibromyalgia takes over your body

I know I snuck up on you without your knowing so now that you’re stuck with me I thought I’d introduce myself.

Hi, I’m fibromyalgia

I’m invisible

No one can see me, no one else can feel me, only you can feel my strength and power. I take your energy from you, I cause your muscles to ache, I make you so tired all you want to do is sleep and then I prevent you from sleeping. I’m a sneaky illness, I crept towards you stealthy and silent so you wouldn’t know I was coming. No one knows why I come or why I stay and doctors can’t figure out what to do with me.

Because I’m so sneaky not even researchers can nail down where I come from. They try so hard to study me, but I’m good at hiding. They find some markers here and there, but nothing conclusive because I’m sneaky.  I’m so good at hiding I even have doctors convinced that I’m not there, but they just don’t know where to look for me. You will have to go from doctor to doctor looking for one who even acknowledges my existence. You will have to waste time, money, and energy looking for a simple diagnosis, never mind finding actual treatment.

 

I like to mess with you. Some days I will almost disappear and I’ll let you live some of your life. I’ll let you feel almost normal and I’ll get your hopes up that you can have some fun, but when you least expect it I will come roaring back to remind you that I never leave. You can’t pretend you’re normal and wish me away, I will always stay with you. You can exercise more, you can meditate, you can take pain medication, you can change your eating habits and I may diminish, but I will never go. I am fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia can make you feel that you are isolated from healthy people and that they can't understand you. Click To Tweet

I will make you lonely

I am fibromyalgia and I will make you feel alone. I will make you feel like no one cares about you, and that no one knows what you are going through. I’ll make sure that you are isolated from healthy people and that they can’t understand you. I am fibromyalgia and I am strong, sometimes I’m stronger than you. Sometimes I will fight so hard that you will feel beaten. You will feel so small and weak and i’ll make it so you don’t know how to go on. I’ll make you feel worthless and unimportant. You will feel like you’re slowly disappearing and becoming invisible.

I’ll make pain the only thing you can think about. The pain will be so bad and so all consuming that you won’t be able to think clearly anymore. Pain will become the number one thing on your mind and you won’t be able to move past it. I will dominate every portion of your life and I will never let go.

I can’t defeat you

However, as much as I would like to, I won’t be able to defeat you. I may destroy your body but I can’t destroy your heart and soul. You will always be you and as hard as I try I can’t change that.