Having a chronic illness or living with chronic pain can quickly become overwhelming and that’s why it’s important to prioritize your health. Because of this one of the most important things to remember is that it is okay to tell people no. Here are four things to keep in mind when it comes to saying no:
1. Prioritize your health by focusing on yourself first
It’s hard to say no. It’s hard to turn people down, but when you’re sick you need to focus on yourself first. You can’t help anyone if you are not helping yourself. If you are ignoring your well-being to do things for others it will catch up with you (probably fairly quickly) and you will pay for it. It is okay to be selfish and prioritize your own needs.
As a parent this one is hard for me because I can’t always prioritize myself first, but I do try make sure my family comes first and everyone else is just extra.
It's hard to say no. It's hard to turn people down, but when you're sick you need to focus on yourself first. You can't help anyone if you are not helping yourself. Click To Tweet2. Don’t feel like you owe someone an explanation
No is a complete sentence. When we tell someone no we often feel like we have to justify ourselves. Don’t. You do not have to justify your illness. You do not have to explain why you need to do things a certain way. It is your life and your body and you don’t owe anyone a detailed rundown. The justification for not being able to meet everyone’s needs is that you have a chronic illness, period. No other explanation is needed.
Don't feel like you owe someone an explanation for your chronic illness. No is a complete sentence. Click To Tweet
3. Be firm in your decision
Often someone will try to talk you out of your decision. They view their need as greater than yours or they don’t understand how your illness works. They may say that you’re selfish or that you don’t care about them. You may be under enough pressure that you start to feel what they say is true, but it’s not. Don’t question yourself, your health is more important than someone’s last minute emergency. Don’t give in if you feel that you truly cannot do something. You know your body better than anybody else. You know what you are capable of.
4. Don’t feel guilty
Guilt is the hallmark of chronic illness. We feel guilt about everything. You are going to feel guilty when you have to say no, don’t. You are important. You are doing all you can to take care of yourself and it is not your fault that you can’t help someone else. It is out of your hands. None of this is your fault.
Healthy people often like to tell themselves that people who are sick deserve it, that is not true. Bad things happen to good people and all we’re left with is how we react. You are valuable and worthy. Don’t let anyone convince you that merely trying harder or having a positive attitude will make everything go away 100%
“Don’t feel like you owe someone an explanation…” – It took me a while to learn this and somedays I still struggle with it. But I am glad I read it again today. I just think it’s such an easy thing to forget and start feeling like we need to say more than needed.
Thank you for this reminder.
I feel like this is such an important thing to read regularly. It is so hard not to feel guilty, but its so important!