Holiday season is upon us. If you’re American you’ve just finished celebrating Thanksgiving, hopefully in a safe fashion. Now the holidays of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza etc. are upon us and we’re all wondering how to thread the needle of safety and seeing family. It’s been a long year and everyone is desperate to spend some time with their family and ignore the pandemic awhile. So what does that mean for those of use who have a chronic illness and disability? It means we need to prepare very carefully. Here’s a few things you need to do:
1. Make the hard decisions
Things are tough this year with Covid 19. It’s rather terrifying to live in the US right now where a large amount of the population doesn’t even count the deaths with “pre existing conditions” as actual deaths and tells those people just to stay home if they’re “afraid.” Not exactly helpful advice since disabled people aren’t werewolves, and we all have actual lives.
Right now in the US cases are out of control all over the country and hospitals are running out of room. When hospitals run out of room they have to practice triage, and unfortunately disabled people are not the ones prioritized in that situation. It’s incredibly frustrating that healthy people who ignore the pandemic get better treatment than the disabled who are much more careful, but that’s how the system works.
You need to make the hard decision in who will be included in your holiday celebrations. Will it just be the people who live in your house? Will you see other family members in a social distanced manner? Are other family members taking precautions so that you can be included?
This holiday season with Covid19, make sure communicate with your family and friends and set up some strong boundaries. Once you've communicated your needs, stick to your boundaries and don't give in to pressure. Click To TweetRelated posts: How to find the best Christmas gifts for someone with chronic pain
2. Prioritize yourself and your health
You’re going to have family members questioning your decisions, they may even be angry with you about it because they don’t like it (ask me how I know), but you need to prioritize yourself and not the needs or feelings of your family. This year is different. This year there are a lot of people who are dead, and being aware of your own needs is more important than ever.
3. Communicate your needs
If you’re going to see people, make sure you communicate your needs. Maybe you need them to be masked and stay at a 6 foot distance. Maybe you need people to stay away completely. Communicate with your family and friends, set up some strong boundaries. Once you’ve communicated with your family, stick to your boundaries and don’t give into pressure. Make sure they know why your making the decisions you are, but don’t let them talk you out of it.
4. Have the proper supplies
If you decide to see people make sure that everyone has the proper supplies, masks and sanitizer for example. You may need to bring some extras if you have a difficult friend or family member (though in general I’d say to stay away from those people).
5. Offer alternatives
If you’ve decided you need to be extra safe this year and stay away from people, offer them some alternatives:
- Set up a zoom for Christmas morning so you can see each other opening presents
- Set up a big family zoom so that everyone can play games together
- Send Christmas cards to everyone you’re missing so they can see what’s going on in your life
- Have everybody watch the same movie at the same time, and make comments to each other over zoom
- Send everyone the same crafting kit and make them all together
There’s plenty of ways to spend time with family that don’t include in person visits.
I’ve written this post not to judge anyone or share my personal opinions, but because when you’re disabled or have a chronic illness, these issues are very real. Whatever you decide, you know your body and your needs best.
Some really good tips here – I love the idea of the crafting kit where everyone gets together from anywhere in the world to do it at the same time, that’s such a cool suggestion!
I personally find December can get so busy and stressful on top of Chronic illness that self-care can go out the window and I’m not good at communicating my needs either. Fab post lovely.xx
So true! I’m terrible at self care during the month of December
I am not seeing most of my family this year for Christmas as it doesn’t feel safe to do so. Really sad, but we can only hope that it is for the best and that next year we can be together. So it’s a Zoom Christmas for us this year, and we will play games to make it fun for the kids.
These are all critical things to do this Christmas – some I’ve already learned the hard way and some I’m determined that I must get right this Christmas!
Great tips and love the infographic. It’s a lot of decisions to make and making them early does help a lot!
These are all fantastic tips, especially communicating our needs. Lack of communication often causes more problems than our illnesses alone.
Great suggestions! I hope you have a safe and blessed Christmas!
You too!
Hi Shelley,
Let’s start by being honest, I am an unsociable old humbug. So the idea of being isolated over Christmas did not fill me with dread. Covid has been a blessing, I can shut myself away under the pretext of shielding when I would be alone anyway, through choice.
Needless to say, I have watched The Grinch, several times but, I haven’t seen A Christmas Carol on the TV yet.
Enough of my moaning, I hope you had a great Christmas and managed to see your friends and family. I also hope you have your name down for one of the new vaccines. I am hopeful to get inoculated by Easter.